Tuesday, 31 August 2010

The Skaven Infestation of Palurin (official skaven record)

Grey Seer Typhus was the Council of Thirteen's senior envoy to the Elythian Cartel, charged with ensuring there was no funny business with the cartel's regular tithe of warpstone. This tasking was a cushy number offering plentiful opportunities for personal enrichment so he was naturally upset when an ambitious underling framed him for embezzlement and reported him to the council. The fact that he had indeed been embezzling was beside the point.

Fortunately, the eternally paranoid Typhus had prepared an escape plan (actually, he'd prepared seventy three escape plans). Years previously an ancient tablet had been “recovered” from a band of lizardmen caught snooping in the cartel's territory. After “appropriating” this tablet and disposing of the witnesses Typhus had spent much time studying it, eventually translating the strange hieroglyphs and learning of a new world called “Palurin”.

Typhus went to the Cartel's ruling council and told them of a massive army poised to invade their territories and steal their wealth! Humbly and with no consideration of his own safety he offered to lead every warrior the Cartel could muster to head off the invaders. With nose held high he lead this host into the magical portal he had created and that was the last the Cartel saw of Grey Seer Typhus or their warriors.

On arrival in Palurin Typhus promptly executed any of the chieftains who wouldn't swear loyalty to him and set about activating the second stage of his escape plan – namely securing total dominion of Palurin beneath the thrall of his all powerful empire, raising an army of untold billions and then returning to destroy all who had wronged him (to which end he had composed an extensive list) and establish himself as emperor of all and most beloved of the horned rat. The Council of Thirteen would rue the day they made an enemy of Grey Seer Typhus!!!!

In order to begin his plans for intergalactic domination Grey Seer Typhus first needed a source of near infinite power. The huge active volcano next to his portal exit would do nicely in that regard. Ignoring the pathetic squeaking of those with minds too small to comprehend his ability to control the very forces of nature Typhus ordered a city and port to be founded at the volcano's base, naming it Boiling Peak.

It would take many decades to build up an army big enough to take on the Council of Thirteen's misguided minions and secure his revenge. Even with the extended lifespan of a Grey Seer he would die before his plans came to fruition, so he needed to become immortal. This sounded like a good idea to Typhus so he was extremely pleased when scouts located a city ruled by vampires further up the coast.

He immediately assembled his warriors and lead an expedition to steal the secrets of eternal life. His plan was both simple and absolute genius. He would lead his army against the gates of the city and force the inhabitants to come out and do battle. Whilst they were distracted his finest Clan Eshin agents would sneak around the back and steal anything that looked promising from the Vampire's libraries.

At first the plan appeared to be going awry as the disciplined elite of the Aquilan Empire sliced through the ravening skaven hordes, until in a fit of peek Typhus smote them down with sheer awesomeness. That done things seemed to be going superbly except for the enraged mountain chimera heading straight for him. Typhus squirted the musk of fear and threw the leader of his personal retainers into the monsters path, distracting it until a passing doomwheel ran it over. Finally, the enemy general fell to the envenomed blades of an Eshin Assassin and the Aqilan army lay dead on the battlefield (once more!).

Typhus returned victorious to Boiling Peak and ordered the building of arcane machineries and temples to the horned rat to harness the volcano's power and add it to his own. He would not rest until the secrets of eternal life were his!!!!

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